Well, for starters, social networking is built around the concept of broadcasting a single message to a very wide audience. Everyone from your mom to your coworkers consumes the same end-product, regardless of their needs or expectations about communicating with you. This is kind of like sending out the same-sized T-shirt to all your friends as a gift. Sure, it might fit a few people but for the most part, it will either be too small or too large to do your friends much good. And, more importantly, what kind of message are you sending to your friends when you give them something that doesn't fit? "Hey, I know you're a size 6 but I only have time to give you this other thing. Hope you like it!" This whole concept has never sat well with me.
Long before the advent of social networking sites, my Grandma Mary Jean used a variety of different methods to keep the people in her "network" informed: hand-written letters and cards, telephone calls on the party line, in-person visits, and so on. Sometimes when pressed for time, she'd employ the "one-size-fits-all" method of carbon-copied letters, but never as an only means. And when she did employ that method, she'd always include something personal with it--a jotted note, a new recipe, an article clipping--something that made her communication unique to that particular person. It took time and a little effort but it was important to her and ended up strengthening her ties to her friends in the process.
I think Grandma, like me, would have a bit of trouble adjusting to the communications methods employed by folks today. In our haste to make information available in as quick and efficient a way as possible, I fear that we've lost that personal touch that make passing on information meaningful and worthwhile. Social networking has become that carbon-copy letter my Grandma would sometimes write, only employed more frequently and often without the extra note or clipping that makes it unique to the receiver. Delivered in this way, the message becomes impersonal and often times ill fitting. No longer are you writing with a particular person and their personal interests in mind; each person in your network is merely a part of a whole, destined to consume the same message no matter your closeness to them as individuals.
Several years ago, I was frustrated enough by my experiences with the medium that I chose to leave social networking altogether. I knew that by doing that, I would lose contact with many of the more distant people in my network, and I did so without regret. What I didn't expect was that I would lose a level of communications detail with the people I cared about most--my closest family members and friends. Though I still communicate with them in other ways, I find that I am still missing details of their lives that they now post only to their social networking sites. These messages, photos and such aren't reproduced in other communications methods because it would be inefficient to do so. The simple truth is that by not being a part of their network, I end up simply missing out.
Of course what I really want is to be included on the details of my loved ones lives in a personal way: I want that phone call, that e-mail, that letter (or hey, even that text message!) written with my interests in mind. I want to be important enough in my loved ones' lives to warrant that extra effort. Like my relationship with each of them, I want the communications between us to be unique. I want, sometimes, to give and receive something that fits.
But I fear in these fast-paced modern times, that is just too much to ask. And I am only punishing myself by continuing to be so stubborn. It is better to give and receive a poorly fitted T-shirt than to have no T-shirt at all. But that won't stop me from wanting my custom fit.
